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  1. Eat a leaf from a plant which has only been watered with spit from people with the flu
  2. Never be allowed to use a computer keyboard again
  3. Belch fire, and it actually hurts
  4. Walk on all fours from L.A to Seattle
  5. Always feel like you've jammed your finger
  6. Lose all of your fingernails and toenails
  7. Forget the name of everyone you ever meet
  8. The world's population doubled overnight (the new people are shunted in from some parallel universe almost exactly the same as ours)
  9. Be only able to walk backwards
  10. Whenever you told a lie your nose grew


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